ohbooth: (Kansas Boys)
[personal profile] ohbooth
Okay, so I am gonna kinda re-do my post that LJ ate, without the SN meme, cause I can't refind it :)

So, basically I reviewed a couple movies :P So if you have no interest in my critical look at a couple movies, you can stop now. No harm no foul. Oh, and be warned there are spoilers about the movies if you read on.


So I watched Transporter 3 (QUICK QUESTION: Does anyone remember if it was IN FACT released IN theaters? Or did it go straight to DVD? Cause I can't for the life of me remember seeing it advertised IN the theaters.) Okay, back to the movie.

Holy fuck they should have stopped at the second one, no need to make this into a 'trilogy'.

Actually, before I get into the 'problems' I had with it, I wanna start with the praise. My BFF told me I HAD to watch it (but I didn't listen to the rest of her advice and just FF to the Jason scenes). So, I watched it, and MAN, was she right about one thing, Jason is still gorgeous! Holy ever loving cow! The man doesn't LOOK particularly 'buff' in the textbook kind of way when he is dressed in his suit and stuff. But when he takes his shirt off (which he does at least three times I can remember right now) the muscles all but fly at you! Just...wow, someone give his parents a prize! Those genes are so hot he should have a fire station on standby for him 24-7. He isn't the HUGE and gawky type buff, but he is VERY cut and just GAH, so amazingly hot!  And he has that AMAZING trap muscle all toned and perfect, I just wanted to bite it! As far as I am concerned, all he has to do is stand there without his shirt on and like, read names from a phonebook (cause I LOVE his voice) and I would pay SO MUCH MONEY to be standing there in front of him just a watchin' and listenin'!

Also, I still loved the dynamic his character had with the same cop, Tarconi. So much fun! Those two are such a great pairing, they are funny and witty and just like the perfect fit! :) I like their friendship, and I think it was the highlight of the film (besides half naked Jason of course). I also liked the part where he got his car out of a lake with big ol bags and the air from his tires because he couldn't go over 75 feet away from the car (explosive device strapped around his wrist). He was so cute all soaking wet and riding on the top of his car as some random farmer hauled him out of the lake LOL!!

Okay, now onto my MAJOR problem with it. The girl, the damsel in distress that morphs into his love interest. Okay, I get it, I understand that they want him to have evolved into this guy that would be all 'break the rules and open myself up to change' instead of the harcore one he has been in the previous ones (except he totally opened up in the last one, and it was more believable then!). But all I ask is that of you HAVE to give him a love interest, make her somehwhat intelligent mmkay? I mean, don't make him go all soft (no pun intended) over some princess snooty party girl that pops mystery pills for fun and pees in the middle of convenience stores fights over radion stations while dancing around in the backseat (because of said mystery 'happy' pills) when they are literally in a high speed car chase and just generally acts like a five year old child. I mean, she is SO annoying and unlikable that I lost some respect for Jason's character because he was interested in her at all. It was just completely non-canon for the character they have built up for two movies. 

And the last line after the big 'fight' where she goes 'Am I in heaven?' after a big explosion near them, and he says 'It is actually more like hell right now' and she says 'It doesn't matter where we are, as long as we are there together' I actually ROLLED MY EYES at the TV! And you know, I got through all of Twilight (which I'll give my full opinion on next) without any eye-rolling!! I NEVER thought a Jason Statham movie would cause me to roll my eyes physically at the TV. It was SO horrible and cliche and just bad bad wrong.

And my last beef with this movie is the DVD cover. It is not usually a big deal, but they have the girl on the front cover with guns in her hands looking all badass, but the thing is, she never ONCE touches a gun, I don't even think she would know how to hold one. She spends most of the movie either sullen and silent or crazy and childish or completely basketcase sad, which is NOT what she looks like on the cover. Its just BAD and FALSE advertising. And then they have Jason on the cover with the guns a blazin' as well, BUT the people that commission him for the job he is forced to do strip all the guns and weapons out of his car, so he never touches a gun either. Like, ever! But there they are, on the front of the cover looking like gun toting badasses, when there is one badass and one little girl...hmm, sounds like a good movie title. 


On to Twilight. Alright, I know a couple of you absolutely love the books AND the movie (my BFF has the books even and keeps trying to convince me to read them) and I think you will be safe reading my criticism. Although it is a bit harsh on the author, so if you are a huge fan of hers I would skip my 'review'.

First thing I noticed, this author is a hack. I mean, even if she wasn't responsible for the exact script, it was based on her book, so she takes full responsibility as far as I am concerned. Vampires DO NOT SPARKLE. This is my main problem. As much as I was happy to SEE the sparkly vampire because it meant that I had fuel for mocking for many years to come, it is just WRONG. Vampires have established lore about them, real or not, it is established and massively agreed on (with small variations). But no, this chick decides one day 'Okay, well, despite everything everyone has ever written about Vampires, I am gonna make mine sparkle. And like, massively sparkle, crazy over the top sparkle, just cause I feel like it.' So yeah, she just makes up her own lore, which is fine, if she was making up her OWN CREATURES, but no, she went with a popular 'beast' and decided to completely change their core.

I mean, NOW I get that icon I saw a while ago that had a pic of Spike and the caption "Vampires do not fucking sparkle". I understand how perfect and funny that is now, BUT I would want it with a pic of 'sparkly' Robert, but there seems to be NO icons of the 'sparkle' scene which is crap! I need to mock people!

Another thing "Vegetarian Vampires" is confusing, so don't use it. Think of something else, because vegetarian means NO MEAT, not 'No humans'. If a vampire were vegetarian, it would cease to exist, because they FEED ON THE BLOOD to stay 'alive' or 'undead' whichever you prefer. So open up a dictionary and find another way to describe this certain variety of vampire. I mean, go with 'Human Friendly' or 'Animal Inclined' Vampires, but then again, that would mean she would actually have to work with the established lore, and once again, that is something she is apparently not capable of doing. So 'Vegetarian Vampires' it is. And she wonders WHY people call her books glorified fic. I have actually read BETTER fic than her stuff (and yes, I TRIED to read one of the books my friend was forcing on me, and I couldn't get through more than one paragraph.)

Oh, and makeup department? Fail, epic fail. The 'white' wasn't covering all of the skin of the vampires all of the time, and it was HIGHLY distracting. Also, is Bella always that whiny? Holy crap at the end in the hospital she lost it! What a basketcase!

Okay, good points now. I liked Robert, he was funny and broody and cute. So much adorable. Also liked the baseball game thing, and I think it was hilarious when he first smelled Bella and he was all nauseated and asked to change classes LOL. I also liked the part where they started to kiss and he threw himself backwards off the bed to 'stop' himself. It was a cool random effect, not complicated but very effective in representing the distance between them. Um...I think that's about it, I mean, the absurd plot crap kept me from fully enjoying the prettiness that was Robert, so that is basically all I've got. OH, the music. Good soundtrack, I like it a ton, and I LOVE that Robert has a song on it, and I need more of him, so if you have any you wanna share, let me know :) 


Robyn and I watched this movie, and I would like to say how much Jim has 'mellowed' LOL. He is still funny, don't get me wrong, but he isn't as 'over the top' as he used to be. Sometimes it's good, sometimes I miss the crazy antics.

I thought the movie was cute and cheesy (like it should be) and I did like it. I mean, I wasn't overwhelmed at how amazing it was, but it served it's purpose. I REALLY liked Zooey Deschanel and Jim's dynamic together, they made such a good onscreen pair. Her quirky self was such a great foil for his 'new and improved' Yes!Man self.

Hmm, I don't really have much to say with this one, the RedBull rant was funny, a lot of the stuff was funny, the 'interrogation' scene with him in the airport was good too. I would say it's a feel good fun comedy :) if you like the actors you'll probably enjoy it, but if they bug you in any way, I would stay away :) 


Okay, just watched another Jason Statham movie (apparently my BFF is on a Jason Statham kick (we pretty much always are though, we both love him) so she keeps making me watch the movies I haen't seen of his so we can talk about how beautiful he is). Anyways, watched Chaos today :)

Okay, pretty basic plot, and I totally called the 'twist' at the ending (I have watched too many moives NOT to see it coming), but I did like it. I liked how they tied it all in together. Jason was wonderful (although I may be biased), and I liked the 'realness' that Ryan brought to his character. And Wesley Snipes always plays a good villain, he is pretty made of awesome.

Didn't like the chick in this one either LOL, she is the reason that they get fired at during a stakeout (she is stupid enough NOT to silence her pager), and she is sleeping with the asshole at the beginning but runs after Jason Statham's character when he gets a little attention and is all 'tough guy- back on the job' again. This time though, Jason's character turns her down, good on him! I was VERY excited about that!  The effects and stuff are good, overall an enjoyable movie. I would say if you weren;t as jaded as I was with movies and seeing the signs for the 'twists' they try to spring on the sudience, you may be surprised by the turn of events.

I also liked the whole 'Chaos Theory' aspect of it. It's part of the reason I figured out the plot 'twist'.

Also, saw these and REALLY wanna see them!!! I think it is mostly because of who is in them, because I know they will probably be typical 'Romantic Comedy' plots, but I don't care! LOL, I like all kinds of movies!

Hmm, that's all from me for now :P 

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insaneboingo.livejournal.com
Okay 2 things.

1. Hah, to your Twilight review. I think you were FAR too easy on that thing. Just.. eugh.

2. Could I possibly get that song you're listening to? I'm completely in love with Zooey and I've recently been trying to collect her singing. I see need all of the She & Him stuff.

Oh yeah, and Transporter 3 was released in theaters.
(screened comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insaneboingo.livejournal.com
Thank You!

And YES, I would love the album from you. Please and thank you again.
(screened comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insaneboingo.livejournal.com
Ah, you're too good to me. Thank you. ♥

I just dug up her version of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" with Leon Redbone, and was listening to that on repeat. So, thank you, again.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohbooth.livejournal.com
Oh cute! I don't know have that! Is it good? Can you share?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrsr58.livejournal.com
well, i can't say i've seen ANY of those films and i swear i'd waited for transporter 3 to come to the theatres but somehow seemed to miss it. T1 and T2 were B films at best but at least hotass jason saved them from total ruin. so for sure i'll watch T3 but not so sure about crank 2 because OMFG, i totally slept thru the first one...jason or no. :/

but still...holy mother of god, dude's HOT (totally made my 10 hot guys meme, LOL).

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohbooth.livejournal.com
LOL, slacker!

And yeah, he is COMPLETELY hot enough to carry the shitty shitty movie!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:15 am (UTC)
ext_16833: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bobbinrob.livejournal.com
Did I give you the Robert songs I have or did I forget?
remind me and Ill upload them when I get home

haha I love your movie reviews so much!
dude Vampires TOTALLY sparkle :p

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohbooth.livejournal.com
You forgot :( you don't love me obviously.

Thanks :) Not harsh at all huh?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:20 am (UTC)
ext_16833: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bobbinrob.livejournal.com
clearly I dont I mean really I only sent you like a million link emails :p

shall send when I get home, ok?

nope not at all, anyway twilight deserves harsher!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohbooth.livejournal.com
Yeah, whatever :P

Send away

Yeah, it does, but I didn't care about it enough to go into deep meaningful thoughts.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 08:18 am (UTC)
ext_16833: (Default)
From: [identity profile] bobbinrob.livejournal.com
here ya go hon,.theres 4 here http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1807BDNH

true indeed and a very very valid point!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 08:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] briethehippo.livejournal.com
My brother informs me that, yes, Transporter 3 was shown in cinemas. He and my father went and saw it. I asked him if he liked it and he said 'yes'. No elaboration or explanation, just yes, LOL.

The man doesn't LOOK particularly 'buff' in the textbook kind of way when he is dressed in his suit and stuff. But when he takes his shirt off (which he does at least three times I can remember right now) the muscles all but fly at you!

THIS IS WHY I LOVE HIM AND I AM GLAD YOU DIG HIM TOO. GOSH, HIS MUSCLES ARE AMAZING. *TOUCHES THEM* Mum thinks he's like Daniel Craig in that sense, he's not overly attractive, but still quite pleasing to the eye. And then when he takes his tux off BAM! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! :D :D :D :D

UGGGGGGGGGGH. AND EW. His 'love interest' sounds like such a blonde ho. I hate her from just reading this. God, what an idiot. I definitely agree with you, he's a pretty intelligent guy so at least make his love interest a smart woman. *rolls eyes*

'Am I in heaven?' after a big explosion near them, and he says 'It is actually more like hell right now' and she says 'It doesn't matter where we are, as long as we are there together'

OH JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER. I am DROWNING in cheese over here. D:

I'm a fan of Twilight, but not hardcore like the TwiMoms. I know it's dodgy, LOL. And I like it when other people recognise that fact too :D

And she wonders WHY people call her books glorified fic. I have actually read BETTER fic than her stuff

OH GODS YES. I've read better TWILIGHT fic than her books. *shakes head*

Also, is Bella always that whiny? Holy crap at the end in the hospital she lost it! What a basketcase!

a) yes she is always that whiney. it's worse with her inner monologue in the books, she's fucking ungrateful for like everything. Whaaaaa! I have to move to this crappy town and live with my lame Dad who has bought me a car and all these people at school like me and want to be my friends. Waaaa, my life is so hard KILL ME NOW, LOL.
b) Kristen Stewart's acting bothered me so much during the film. Jesus Christ, GET A FUCKING SENTENCE OUT ALREADY WOMAN. Grr.

I totally agree with you that Robert was pretty (and it wasn't hard to watch him), the soundtrack rocked and the baseball scene was the best thing ever! \o/

[profile] dontcockblockme uploaded various Rob songs for me. I'll see if she'll let me pinch her links and share with you.

KATIE HEIGEL \O/ GERRY BUTLER \O/ I love it already :D :D

Ahahaha @ The Proposal. Poor Ryan Reynolds, he looked so confused when she first popped the news. I'm totally seeing that one too. I love him so much and Sandra's pretty awesome too. "Oh god, what is that" "It's the morning" ROFL.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-18 07:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohbooth.livejournal.com
Yup, I have confirmed that :)

Ew, sorry to your Mom, but Daniel Craig has NOTHING on Jason!! Jason is SO much hotter, like epic amounts of hotness more than that bond guy.

Amen! I mean, HE is smart, so he has to be dating someone as witty and she can still be fun! It was very disappointing!

Oh no, MORE whiny Bella in the book?! If I was EVER gonna read them, I am sure as hell NOT going to NOW! Thank you SO much for the heads up!

Ohohoh, I would love the cock-blocker AND you if she will let me have the Robert songs!!!

Hell yeah! They both look like 'typical-you-know-who's-gonna-end-up-together' type rom-coms, BUT the fact that the people had enough wherewithall to put the pretty people together makes me wanna go see them!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-25 09:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] briethehippo.livejournal.com
Okay so I fail for not uploading them sooner, but here ya go, here's all the Robert songs (http://www.box.net/shared/ksck02nmqc) that I've got on my hard drive. Hope box.net works okay for ya!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-25 11:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohbooth.livejournal.com
Thank you sweetie! You rock!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-15 01:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writing-light.livejournal.com
I love your thoughts on Twilight! I haven't seen the movie but I have read the books and they are so bad. For all the reasons that made it into the movie and so many more.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-16 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohbooth.livejournal.com
OMG, you suffered through the BOOKS?! Dude, that is dedication! You are a bit crazy I think :P

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-16 11:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] writing-light.livejournal.com
I did, and it's worst than you think! I wanted to know what all the fuss was about so I downloaded them off the net and read them. So bad and yet so fun to snark about.

Love the icon!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-04-16 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ohbooth.livejournal.com
Oh dude, that is horrible! You are MORE than a little crazy!

Thanks! :) My friend made it for me!


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